I never imagined myself as one of those people who could eventually want to only own a minimal amount of stuff. When I lost my wife back in 2012 I started to change. After my initial period of grief I eventually rearranged the furniture, and made some small changes to the decor. Soon the last of my children will leave the nest and there will only be me.
I have never lived completely alone. This will be a first for me. It was not part of the plan. I expected to have my wife with me for an indefinite period of time. Not only did losing her change who I am but it also seems to be changing who I want to be. When you have your whole family around you, the home and all that is in it takes on a personality, sort of an extension of who everyone is. You must have enough room for everyone to have his and her own space to the extent you can afford. You’ve got to have beds, closet space, bathrooms enough for everyone. Even with sharing these spaces there is only so little you can get by with when there are two adults and 4 kids. There has to be a place to prepare meals, do laundry and well, live.
Now that it is getting close to being just me everything is starting to feel like clutter. Just when I thought I had arranged everything just the way I would like it, now it all feels like more than I need. My overall plans for the future have changed too. Because of this, I have started looking at what is around me and wondering if I really need all of it. Do I really need any of it?
In the past couple of months I have started selling things. A couple of the items were some that I searched long and hard for before buying them, looking for exactly what I wanted, finding the best price and making sure it fit in my budget. Wanting is often more fun than having. Instead of shopping at garage sales I am constantly looking around for what I can get rid of.
It has been interesting reading blogs and watching videos about living minimally. Getting rid of a few bigger items wasn’t that difficult. I sold a tent, bike, picnic table and a few other items with no regret. It’s the little things that are the hardest. You don’t realize how much junk can accumulate. I often will look at something and not know why I have it. It was part of something bigger but I can’t remember what it came off of. I have been afraid to throw it away because I may suddenly remember how important it originally was. This is one of the habits that is difficult to break when trying to get rid of superfluous stuff.
This morning my daughter showed me an item that she planned to send to the local community center along with some clothes. I looked at it and was about to take it from her and stash it. It had no utility at all. I had to really fight that urge not to keep the item. It was a small conquest to win out over the urge. I have to do that with lots of other stuff. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a hoarder. My apartment is not crammed full of old newspapers, magazines and collectibles. In my future I do not see room for anything but the necessities. And so I am taking little steps to get rid of all the things that are unnecessary and have the least amount of emotional significance. There will always be some things that cannot be parted with. I will get these down to a manageable number though and see what my kids might be willing to take possession of.
I am actually excited about doing this. The less I have the better I feel. I have even gone through photos to see what can be discarded. I cannot believe how many pictures there were of inanimate objects that I could not place and people I don’t even know. And so these are gone.
I am looking forward to see how much I can really remove. When my oldest daughter moved to a new apartment I had her look around my place and take whatever decorator items she liked. I thought it would be hard to part with them but it wasn’t. I am looking forward to getting rid of even more. If any of my kids drop by, I’ll do the same thing, have them look around, see it, claim it and load in into the car.
In future posts I’ll share more of my plans for what is next and why I’m getting rid of so much. You might be surprised to see how minimal I’m willing to be. I might be surprised as well.